Happy Birthday, Dad

Happy Birthday, Father
From your youngest daughter.
And so comes that time of year
To say the things you too seldom hear.

Thanks for World Famous Scrambled Eggs,
Building snowmen on winter days.
From singing “Blue Skies” in the car,
World’s Greatest Dad you truly are.

Thanks for all the soccer games,
And trips to Disney, too.
Childhood would not have been the same
Without your timeless “nee-ah-woo.”

Don’t forget the electricity rub,
And Joplin’s bumper boats,
When all we needed was a hug,
Unlike Mom we need no coat.

I did not forget the famous Claw,
And jock jams in the car,
Or being outnumbered by puppy paws,
In all things you’re my shining star.

As I near my final words,
It took all I that could muster,
I think it would be quite absurd
To forget to reference “slob buster.”

So another Happy Birthday, Dad.
This one’s from me to you.
I hope you have the greatest day,
And remember I love you.

Witch of the Season

I never thought to hate someone

As much and I hate you

And when all is said and done

You know these words are true.

.

You, dear girl, are a heinous wart

A monster of witch stew

You treat his love as playful sport

Though it’s his sadness that you brew.

.

You are a goblin and wretched dog.

That snarls and digs up spite.

Unless you are princess to his frog

Don’t think your actions right.

.

You cast a spell right over him

Of love mixed with despair.

To be alone would be quite grim

So bewitched you keep him there.

.

In the end who sweeps up

The messes that you made

When you take broom and fly away

And leave him in degrade?

.

It won’t be me I promise you

To mend his troubled mind.

He looks at me as wicked poison

From your words of grand design.

.

He’ll be alone in day and night

Perhaps you will be, too.

And as I near my final words

I have this to say to you.

.

If I had my way I’d break the spell

And end your evil ways

But as you’ve damned him to enchanted Hell

Magic words won't bring sun rays.

.

I do not think you very grand

I hope you never cross my path

Your spells are more than I can stand

Pray to never face my wrath.

Letters I'll Never Send

Today I wrote a letter

Of things I’d like to say

To you if you ever bothered

To venture back my way.

.

I’d tell you how it hurt

To be left out in the dust

To give my heart so blindly

To one I thought to trust.

.

Today I wrote a letter

Wishing you the best

Tried to get some closure

So my eyes could finally rest.

.

I told how you’re a liar

Filled with hatred and deceit

How I can’t breath when I see you passing

Knowing our eyes won’t meet.

.

Today I wrote a letter

Saying it’s okay you chose her

But she leads you with false stories

Which is more than I can endure.

.

She pulls you back so closely

Giving you no room to budge

Our talks became too friendly

And she is your only judge.

.

Today I wrote a letter

This was the last to glove

Of this deep and darkly secret

I think I fell in love.

.

I hate that you’re not by my side

I lost track of all the times I cried

And knowing I won’t see you now

I feel the heart of me has died.

.

I’m sad that I lost a best friend

With one I could be true.

And though these letters I’ll never send

I send my love to you.

Just Curious

I am considered naturally curious.

Of many things in fact

But the main one on my mind today

Is the question of how you act.

.

Do you wake up in the morning

Feeling full of wit and charm?

Because, if so, how people see you

Will cause you much alarm.

.

You are what we call an endless ass,

Though others call you douche.

And though this might seem a little crass

I swear it’s the honest truth.

.

You’re dumb, you’re ignorant,

Racist, mean, naive.

And though it shouldn’t, it does astound me

The comments up your sleeve.

.

But now I’m here to tell you

What we truly want to say

Is to (please) shut the hell up

And let silence rule your way.

.

This may seem rude and just absurd

To be the victim of such dislike

But did you really think you clever?

Just curious. If so -- Psych.