Early Twenties

I’ve sort of had a revelation in the past six months: The early twenties will probably be the most distorted and life-shaping years of our entire life. Think about it. We are all going at so many different speeds in countless different directions. Some of us are on a highway (in the fast lane), and others are simply enjoying a brisk nature walk.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. This is the time in our lives where we either have it all figured out, want to and are working on it, or are totally lost. So many of us feel alone because we feel like no one is in the same place as us. We like to see ourselves as mature, and everyone else (who isn’t in the same place) as immature. Of course, there are those select few who seem to have whizzed right passed their twenties and into their thirties, where marriage and little ones suddenly appear out of thin air.

For example, I am at a place in my life where I no longer fully enjoy drinking hard liquor, dressing in black, and going to dimly lit bars. I’d much rather stay at home in my pajamas, drink tea, and watch a good movie or read a good book. Another girl my age, however, is currently getting dressed in tight pants and red heels, and is going to have a really fun night with loud music and sticky floors (and she’s going to have a headache in the morning).

Her 21 is my 19, and my 21 is probably going to be her 27.

The girl I sat next to in elementary school, for example, currently has two or three kids.

My 21 is her 16, and her 21 is my... God, I can’t even imagine. Seriously, how is that possible? But that’s where she is in her life, and it probably seems just right to her.

Many of people I graduated high school with will be facing their senior year of college in the fall, whereas myself and a few others have decided to reassess what our path should be and are now facing two or more years of school. Their 22 will be my 24. I don’t even want to think about that.

The point of all this rambling is to perhaps make people realize that, even though we may seem alone at this current pit stop in our lives, that we are in our early twenties and we are all progressing at different speeds. Some of us are getting married. Some of us have never been in love. Some of us have kids. Some of us know nothing of what we want. The big important thing to remember in the midst of all of this is simply to not freak out. This is normal. This is okay. Just because some people are hightailing it to their final destination, doesn’t mean that you can’t stop and smell the roses -- to appreciate what you have now. It’s a peaceful purgatory. Not here and not there. It’s your own special place, and though you may sometimes feel alone, there are others that are exactly where you are. You just might not have met them yet (there’s a Michael Buble song about this). Maybe their 21 is your 21, or their 24 is your 21, or even perhaps their 19 is the same as your current landmark. Maybe you will progress together, and maybe you won’t. That’s the beauty of life.

I think that we should remember that we shouldn’t try to speed through life. It’ll speed through on its own. We shouldn’t feel like we have to speed through eras to catch up with what everyone thinks is the current pastime. If one person is at the point in her life where she strays from the current social expectations of those around her because she finds that it no longer makes her feel whole or happy, then that’s okay. She should. She’s growing. Her 21 is no longer their 21, but there is really no right answer when you’re in your early twenties. Honestly, it’s a little bit like starting a whole new kind of puberty. No one wants to talk about it, but everyone is going through it at different speeds. We’re all changing into what we will become. We’ll all get there eventually. Some of us are just late bloomers.

We can’t stop life from happening, so we may as well try to make it last as long as possible.So enjoy your 19. Enjoy your 20. Enjoy your 21, and enjoy your 22 (there’s a Taylor Swift song about this). We’re all going at different speeds. When we’re on a highway, we need to just hold on until our next exit. When we’re on a nature trail, we should stop and enjoy all of what’s around us. We’re in our twenties. We should enjoy it. Our life hasn’t started, and it’s only just begun.